Does Heaven Still Want Me?
Does Heaven Still Want Me?
By Yanma
Broken glass kept cutting through my skin,
yet I still ran laughing through the wind.
And at the end of the day,
a small lamp still glowing beside me,
I lay in bed and whispered, “I was kind today,”
and I thought Heaven might still want me.
Tiny fireflies flicker with a wince.
So it has been a long time since
I could not feel the purity of childhood,
and my father hoped I would become good.
Blue sky,
rain upon a desert land,
moonlight through an open hand.
You are always somewhere nearby.
But I pretend,
not to hear You calling my name.
I don't know, does Heaven still want me?
while only this world is all I see.
About the Poet
I wrote this poem while longing for the innocent life of childhood. I still remember clearly how, back then, I was simply a child who loved to play. I played pretend cooking, hida and seek, Barbie dolls, outdoor games, fishing, catching dragonflies, and sometimes, at night, I would catch fireflies. I still remember the fireflies my father caught and placed gently inside a plastic bag.
After a long day of playing, I would lie in bed and replay the entire day in my mind, wondering if I had hurt any of my friends or not. Back then, I truly believed life was easy as long as we stayed kind. I even thought entering Heaven would be simple because of that innocence. I used to wonder why people could become stressed at all.
But after growing older, boom! 😅 life made me swallow my own assumptions. I realized that life is not always under our control. Even after we find answers to our questions, we can still become our own worst enemy. Gaining clarity does not mean the trials will stop; sometimes the real struggle begins afterward: learning how to protect that faith from fading because of our own choices.
About Muslim Women For
Muslim Women For regularly publishes submissions to the blog. We encourage submissions from community members. To learn more, visit our submission criteria page. The views and opinions expressed in these posts do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of the organization, ‘Muslim Women For.'
