Yes, I’m Muslim, No, I Don’t Own a Burkini by Nemat
No, I don’t like to swim, so I don’t.
My father tried to teach me when I was young, but we visited the water so infrequently that I never mastered the element. I liked to move deep under the water, but when it came to joining everyone else above the surface I’d get pulled under.
I could never stay parallel with the cold ripples, so I’d just wiggle below and make faces at the swimmers above.
At some point my leggings and wife beater were too tight, and so it was only the boys that could go on these visits. I sat in front of the TV waiting for my brother's dripping frames to fill the doorway, to hear about the crystal blue waters that were never a friend to me. Yes, they would invade my sinuses and make my brain scream, but maybe if we had more time…
In 7th grade, I got to visit the pool for the first time in a long time.
For a class project, me and 4 other girls had built a boat with the purpose that it would float above the surface in exchange for an A. My leggings and wife beater had become jeans and a tunic, and I didn’t go in the water. I told the nosy boy in my class that I just didn’t like swimming, but the truth was that I really didn’t know how. The truth was I'm a girl.
The bigger truth is that if I tell myself I don't like it, it makes the bigger truth less maddening.
The nosy boy was very frustrated because according to him today was gonna be the day I took off my hijab, and he would no longer have to be curious. I don't tell him that burkinis exist.
I also don't tell them that I actually do like to swim, in fact I think I love it more than a lot of things.
About the Author
Nemat Ashraf Eltiar is an Egyptian-American, Muslim-American writer, trying to figure out what that actually means.
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